I’m driving myself crazy…. yep…

I’m driving myself crazy. I can’t stop thinking about the small fetal pole and how I’m measuring small for how far along I should be… I’m just so confused. I had a day (maybe two) of spotting around the time I should have gotten my period – could it have been my period? I’m not sure I’ve ever had it be that short before… I mean, I’ve got a messed up cycle, but 2 days has never happened. If that’s the case, being only six weeks along makes sense…. but still not totally. I just don’t think it was. Don’t I know my own body well enough by now?

I’m trying not to get my hopes up that this baby is okay and growing. Maybe it’s just behind… but I’m still not getting my hopes up. Hubby doesn’t understand why I’m taking this stance. I just want to prepare myself for what would be the worst EVER.

I go to Quest Diagnostics (why are they the ONLY place that does these things?) this morning for my blood tests. I am apprehensive about this because I’m not a great blood-giver. I tried to donate when I was much younger but was told it would take too long for me to donate the required amount…something about my blood being thick I thought. Anyways, I tend to get woozy and light-headed anyways so I haven’t tried since. But the other time I had to give blood for a test, the same thing happened and it took a long-ass time to fill up all the viles they needed. Barf.

The girls are awake so I must leave my writing haven for now. I’m glad I’m keeping up on the blog this time. I’ll have to finish the girls’ story at some point as they’ll be two this Fall and I haven’t even written about their birth story yet!

Wish me luck at Quest! 🙂

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