Monthly Archives: June 2009

RIP, Michael Jackson

Wow. Wasn’t expecting two in one day…. I even cried a little about this one. Of all the terrible things I could think of when thinking of Michael Jackson, the thing that stands out most to me is dancing with my dad after dinnertime when I was a kid (like, from 1-12 years old) to either the Thriller album or Born in the USA (The Boss, Bruce Springsteen). I’m totally bummed that it’s the end of an era.

Rest in Peace, Mr. Jackson. Thanks for all the great dances I shared with my dad.

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Rest In Peace, Farrah Fawcett

Rest In Peace, Ms Fawcett. Your kind words, beautiful smile, and fabulous flair will be missed. Thanks for all the inspirations…

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Father’s Day, Pregnant Thoughts, Jon & Kate…..

Father’s Day was lots of fun! I ended up not having to film any scenes for the movie so I had the whole day off!! When we first arranged the schedule we were supposed to be filming on Saturday but they called me back five minutes later and said “Would Sunday be okay?” And since our family doesn’t normally do much other than Mass on Sunday…. well, I said “sure!” without checking to make sure nothing was going on. Oops. 🙂 So, I had called my director earlier in the week to see if we could cut the day in half but never heard back from him… cut to Saturday and I call up our video guy and he informs me that “we” pushed back my (my, as in me) filming dates until the next Sunday… leave it to men to be in charge and forget to share the details with everyone else. LOL. Whatever – I was just happy that I didn’t have to leave Hubby at home babysitting on his Big Day. So, we got to go out to brunch at one of our favorite local restaurants. It’s the same place where we went for lunch the day we found out we were having twins… Anyways, I was glad I didn’t have to cook that morning as I wasn’t feeling snazzy AND I got to have eggs benedict. Win Win for me. 🙂 Haha. We had to bring our own high chairs because the restaurant only has two of their own… and we’re totally okay with bringing our own – with twins, you’ve got to be able to accommodate to a situation. And gosh darnit, we weren’t letting anything stand in our way of going to brunch. HAHAHA. 🙂
After brunch, we went to the In-Laws for swimming & barbequing. I did a great job at hiding my belly. It’s still not totally noticeable but… I spent lots of the day doing my best at holding it in! 🙂 Dinner was awesome – ribs and all the fixings – and I ate, and ate, and ate. By that time, I was so hungry I didn’t care if people noticed how much I ate. Plus, I had been psyching myself up for ribs all weekend – I was ready for a slab.

Pregnant Thoughts. My next appointment with the doctor is not until July 8th. I’m really stressing about this pregnancy:

1. I feel really badly because I’ve been eating so many processed foods (ex. Fresh garlic has been a big turnoff but I have no problem with garlic powder…) – like, what’s the deal with that? My first pregnancy I was totally turned off by processed foods. I couldn’t eat much that wasn’t fresh fresh fresh! This pregnancy: I’ve eaten McDonald’s once, Wendy’s once, AND there was a late night Taco Bell run – I can’t even BELIEVE I’m admitting that. Not to mention the condensed Campbell’s Homestyle Chicken Noodle soup that I can’t get enough of. What gives??? I can’t even choke down my Flintstone vitamins most days. I feel like such a bad mom. AND I’m not drinking enough milk, or eating enough calcium rich foods. FAIL.

2. No heartbeat yet. We don’t own a doppler so I can’t check for one myself. And since my doc couldn’t find one at the last appointment… I’m still freaking out. Is this why I don’t FEEL pregnant? Because I haven’t heard the heartbeat?

3. Not sure how far I am. Again, is this why I don’t FEEL pregnant? Since the baby was measuring so small for how far along we thought I was…. we’re still not sure how far along I actually am. I could be past the first trimester, in which case – there should be a heartbeat, and we could finally tell people I’m pregnant. But with no heartbeat, and not knowing for sure how far along I am… it’s a like a double-doozie-can’t-tell-anyone kind of situation. BLAH. WTF! I’m just in a really weird place these days with all the… unsure-ity (yes, not the word I’m looking for but I have massive pregnant brain this time around) as to the progression of this pregnancy.

4. I think because it was twins last time and I had so many doctors appointments that I didn’t have too much time between them to be worried & think up the worst & overthink everything. I wish I wasn’t one of those needy patients. I totally am though. 😦

5. Pregnant Brain. Seriously, people think I’ve been drinking midday. I said “Cone Phon-versation” to my cousin on Father’s Day, not to mention the forgetfulness of complete conversations with my husband, and saying things like “Let’s go play in the yard, kids…. I mean, the hou- no, the pool.” Seriously, I sound like the town drunk. It was not this bad last time around. Not even close to this bad. Maybe, if there IS a baby in there, it will be a genius since it seems to be sucking the brain out of me.

6. This secret-keeping, lie-telling, etc that’s been going on because of the no heartbeat-small measuring, etc……….. ahhhhhhhhhhh! It’s so hard to do. It’s just building up inside of me more and more every day. I have no one to lean on, to discuss my feelings – except for you dear readers so thanks for reading! 🙂 But you know, I can’t talk to my girlfriends about this. I can’t talk to my MIL about this… boo. My friends keep inviting me to come visit them in their respective cities and I keep having to make up bogus excuses (the web of lies continues) why I can’t come. I feel like such a bitch and I’m afraid they’re getting mad… or maybe they realize something is up with me. Hopefully, the latter.

Third order of business: Jon & Kate. I was NOT expecting this. I kind of thought they were going to announce they were taking a break… from the show! And then as the date got closer, I thought that oh maybe they were going to have a separation from each other – but I still clung to that hope that they weren’t headed for divorce. Well. I was wrong. I’m really sad. Hubby & I totally looked up to them as parents of multiples. There were many days we’d be like “Jon & Kate made it, so can we!” And they just renewed their vows, what, last season? I’m sad for them, I’m sad for the kids – and we’re both upset with Jon. Yes, Kate appears to be snippy at times (but I’ll back her up forever – I can be snippy too, and sometimes snippiness is the only way things get done; besides, who doesn’t joke that their husband is lousy in the kitchen? okay, I don’t totally because he’s a pretty great cook but he doesn’t actually know WHERE anything is in the kitchen… I’m getting off-track…) but apartment hunting in NYC (a 1-bedroom no less)? Being spotted multiple times with a woman ten years your junior? It really appears that Jon is just running away from his responsibilities. Kate said that she has tried to talk to him and he never wants to talk it out. We always thought they were pretty religious. Even if they’re not going to Church every weekend, wouldn’t you think they’d try some sort of counseling – I mean, just throwing in the towel doesn’t sound right. And that’s kind of what we feel Jon is doing. Of course, my opinions are solely based on what we see on the show, what I read in the gossips, etc…. but ah, it just stinks. The newest thing I read said Kate was actually the one who filed and there are reasons that she won’t discuss at this time. I’m wondering if she actually caught him cheating or something terrible like that….. it’s all so sad. I wish this wasn’t happening in their lives. I’m totally bummed.

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Bonnaroo & Being Pregnant

Bonnaroo was a total blast! We secured handicapped accessible camping for the weekend and we ended up 50 yards (if not less) from the entrance to the venue!! AWESOME!!!!! I was able to go back to the car and sit in the AC when I needed to cool off. I took naps almost every day & kept myself hydrated. It went better than I thought it would…. although, I will NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER NEVER NEVER use port-a-potties EVER AGAIN. We’re bringing the girls’ training potties next time we go camping or to any sort of festival. I seriously refuse to use a port-a-potty ever again. I’m pretty much shocked by other peoples’ bathroom habits and when I found a poop the size of my forearm on the seat of a freshly emptied potty – it was the last straw. I had a crying fit of desperation, begged my husband to let us leave THAT NIGHT (the last night!), and eventually calmed down and used the bathroom so I could sleep before our drive back home the next morning. I didn’t use the potties the next morning, instead waiting two hours until we found a clean bathroom in a Wendy’s.

I ate McDonald’s AND Wendy’s this weekend. (GASP!!!) I haven’t eaten fast food since the beginning of my last pregnancy – no joke. I’ve totally avoided it thus far… but there was something about hashbrowns & an egg mcmuffin that I just HAD to eat on our way out there… and something about the clean Wendy’s we stopped at, I just felt inspired for chicken fingers, french fries, and a frosty. Who can seriously pass up a frosty? Not me. 🙂 But no more fast food. It’s only a road trip/camping allowance. For real.

So Bonnaroo…. we saw PHISH, THE BOSS (Bruce Springsteen) – on Sunday, they played Mustang Sally, Bobby Jean, and Glory Days together. The guitar solo during Glory Days rocked my socks off. It was incredible. We saw many other music acts like The Itals, Snoop Dogg, The Lovell Sisters (met them & got their autographs, AWESOME!!!!),  Galactic with Trombone Shorty (if you don’t know who Trombone Shorty is, YOU MUST CHECK HIM OUT)…. oh, Ben Harper, we listened to Jimmy Buffet while we made a Djembe for our girls – a Djembe is a drum… gosh, we saw a lot of fabulous music & a lot of great art. It was a blast!!!
I was pretty annoyed by the fact that I was the ONLY ONE not smoking pot… which meant that Hubby & our friends had NO CLUE where they were most of the time. “Wait, where is the What Tent?” … of course, I knew exactly where it was, who was playing when, what time they stopped, etc. I guess it’s funny cause I was clearly sober and they weren’t… I promise I didn’t smoke anything this weekend – but I can’t say I didn’t feel a little high at times from all the second-hand smoke. It was literally unavoidable.
Okie dokie, the girls are awake – YAY!!!! I missed them SOOOOOOOOOOO much – I always do. I must go now, but I’m so glad to be back home and back into reality. 🙂

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Oh that’s GREAT.

Had a doctor’s appointment today. It went great, other than us not hearing the heartbeat yet and not doing another ultrasound to check the size.

I promised her I wouldn’t freak out if we didn’t hear a heartbeat. I wasn’t totally lying. I didn’t freak out in her office. But of course, now I am. I know it could be too early to hear it but since the baby measured small for age last visit…. how could I not be worried?

I’m also bummed because our plan to tell the families on July 4th is now a no-go. There’s NO WAY I’m telling people I’m pregnant if I haven’t even heard the heartbeat yet. No way. Jose.

My next appointment is in four weeks. Oh, that’s GREAT. (<—-sarcastic.) Just enough time for me to go crazy and enter a loony bin. Great.

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I want my own bed.

Sick as a dog. I mean, sick as a friggin’ dog. I can barely swallow my saliva because it’s so sore from throwing up tonight. I don’t know why tonight’s episode of puke was so bad… maybe it was the chili I ate? In any case, it was bad. Probably one of the Top Five Worst Pukes of My Life.

I’m one of those people that has a really hard time getting to sleep. Perhaps it’s the quiet in the room that causes my mind to race with thoughts. I have a hard time turning it off. It took me nearly an hour to wrestle my mind into silence and fall asleep. It could not have been more than fifteen minutes later, my husband came up to go to bed and sure enough, I get woken up. Now, it wasn’t really his fault that I woke up. I’m just a bad sleeper – one small noise and boom!!! I’m awake. Here I sit now, downstairs in my kitchen blogging, because an hour and a half later I still can’t sleep. I was FINALLY asleep, finally getting the sick feelings out of my body… 😦

I want my own bed back. While I’m wishing… I wish for my own room. Seriously. From now on, Hubby’s gotta come to bed when I do or find another place to sleep at night. I can’t keep waking up like this and not being able to fall asleep. It’s hard enough to fall asleep the first time. And the all-day sickness is always worse when I’m running on less sleep. Always.

I really need to be sleeping right now.
And I’m just so tired of being sick all the damn time. WTF. 😦

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Pretty good week, other than the Constipated Toddler

Not too much has been happening. I had a really bad, bad cold last week. I thought it was a sinus infection but now I’m pretty sure it was just a really awful cold. Glad it’s passing me by…. we got our alarm fixed (the battery was dead) so I’m glad to feel secure again. We don’t live in a dangerous area, but I generally feel safer at night with the alarm on. 🙂

I’m still suffering from morning sickness. Some days are better than others. I ate some chicken last night for dinner and was glad to do so as “meat” in general has been grossing me out. Big time. That and cheese. YUCK. It’s sort of weird as we usually go through a pound of cheese a week (at least, sometimes more!!) between the four of us. I’ve cut back giving the girls cheese at lunch because, well, I can’t stand the idea of it! Dairy just grosses me out. Pregnancy does some funny things to a person. No one is allowed to say the F word either. No, not the profane one. F as in – they live in the sea and people eat them. The very mention of the word will send me gagging into the bathroom! I’ve been craving things like potato chips, mac & cheese, and yellow mustard on wafer sliced turkey on plain grocery store sandwich bread (yep, the only meat I’ve been eating consistently). I normally avoid over-processed foods but it seems I can’t get enough of them. I’m just glad to be eating!

The girls are doing great! We’re working on our plan to tell the family about the new baby. We’re going to have them point to all their body parts in front of the whole family (where’s your nose? ears? eyes? etc) and then we’ll ask them: where’s the baby? They are supposed to come and point to my belly at that point. They get it right 7/10 times…. so fingers crossed they’ll get it right at the big performance! 🙂

We’re also dealing with terrible constipation in one of my girls. It’s awful. We don’t want to jump right into medicines (I just don’t see the good in giving my 21-month-old a laxative….) so we’re trying all sorts of natural remedies. It’s frustrating because she won’t drink the prune juice we’ve attempted to give her (and her sister because if they don’t have the same thing… hell breaks loose!), even when I overload her with wheat crackers (full of fiber, and one would think it would drive her to quench her thirst afterwards – nope, she’s too smart for that). Last night after dinner, they ate HALF A JAR of apple-blueberry sauce (applesauce and blueberries always used to make them poop as babies). I mean, HALF A JAR – and she still hasn’t pooped. I feel so badly for her. We can tell she’s in pain, and she nods her head ‘yes’ when we ask her if the poopy hurts. She’s just not old enough to understand how to resign herself to get it out. Poor thing. Any ideas?

Speaking of, I think the poop may be coming. Got to run!!

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