Father’s Day, Pregnant Thoughts, Jon & Kate…..

Father’s Day was lots of fun! I ended up not having to film any scenes for the movie so I had the whole day off!! When we first arranged the schedule we were supposed to be filming on Saturday but they called me back five minutes later and said “Would Sunday be okay?” And since our family doesn’t normally do much other than Mass on Sunday…. well, I said “sure!” without checking to make sure nothing was going on. Oops. ๐Ÿ™‚ So, I had called my director earlier in the week to see if we could cut the day in half but never heard back from him… cut to Saturday and I call up our video guy and he informs me that “we” pushed back my (my, as in me) filming dates until the next Sunday… leave it to men to be in charge and forget to share the details with everyone else. LOL. Whatever – I was just happy that I didn’t have to leave Hubby at home babysitting on his Big Day. So, we got to go out to brunch at one of our favorite local restaurants. It’s the same place where we went for lunch the day we found out we were having twins… Anyways, I was glad I didn’t have to cook that morning as I wasn’t feeling snazzy AND I got to have eggs benedict. Win Win for me. ๐Ÿ™‚ Haha. We had to bring our own high chairs because the restaurant only has two of their own… and we’re totally okay with bringing our own – with twins, you’ve got to be able to accommodate to a situation. And gosh darnit, we weren’t letting anything stand in our way of going to brunch. HAHAHA. ๐Ÿ™‚
After brunch, we went to the In-Laws for swimming & barbequing. I did a great job at hiding my belly. It’s still not totally noticeable but… I spent lots of the day doing my best at holding it in! ๐Ÿ™‚ Dinner was awesome – ribs and all the fixings – and I ate, and ate, and ate. By that time, I was so hungry I didn’t care if people noticed how much I ate. Plus, I had been psyching myself up for ribs all weekend – I was ready for a slab.

Pregnant Thoughts. My next appointment with the doctor is not until July 8th. I’m really stressing about this pregnancy:

1. I feel really badly because I’ve been eating so many processed foods (ex. Fresh garlic has been a big turnoff but I have no problem with garlic powder…) – like, what’s the deal with that? My first pregnancy I was totally turned off by processed foods. I couldn’t eat much that wasn’t fresh fresh fresh! This pregnancy: I’ve eaten McDonald’s once, Wendy’s once, AND there was a late night Taco Bell run – I can’t even BELIEVE I’m admitting that. Not to mention the condensed Campbell’s Homestyle Chicken Noodle soup that I can’t get enough of. What gives??? I can’t even choke down my Flintstone vitamins most days. I feel like such a bad mom. AND I’m not drinking enough milk, or eating enough calcium rich foods. FAIL.

2. No heartbeat yet. We don’t own a doppler so I can’t check for one myself. And since my doc couldn’t find one at the last appointment… I’m still freaking out. Is this why I don’t FEEL pregnant? Because I haven’t heard the heartbeat?

3. Not sure how far I am. Again, is this why I don’t FEEL pregnant? Since the baby was measuring so small for how far along we thought I was…. we’re still not sure how far along I actually am. I could be past the first trimester, in which case – there should be a heartbeat, and we could finally tell people I’m pregnant. But with no heartbeat, and not knowing for sure how far along I am… it’s a like a double-doozie-can’t-tell-anyone kind of situation. BLAH. WTF! I’m just in a really weird place these days with all the… unsure-ity (yes, not the word I’m looking for but I have massive pregnant brain this time around) as to the progression of this pregnancy.

4. I think because it was twins last time and I had so many doctors appointments that I didn’t have too much time between them to be worried & think up the worst & overthink everything. I wish I wasn’t one of those needy patients. I totally am though. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

5. Pregnant Brain. Seriously, people think I’ve been drinking midday. I said “Cone Phon-versation” to my cousin on Father’s Day, not to mention the forgetfulness of complete conversations with my husband, and saying things like “Let’s go play in the yard, kids…. I mean, the hou- no, the pool.” Seriously, I sound like the town drunk. It was not this bad last time around. Not even close to this bad. Maybe, if there IS a baby in there, it will be a genius since it seems to be sucking the brain out of me.

6. This secret-keeping, lie-telling, etc that’s been going on because of the no heartbeat-small measuring, etc……….. ahhhhhhhhhhh! It’s so hard to do. It’s just building up inside of me more and more every day. I have no one to lean on, to discuss my feelings – except for you dear readers so thanks for reading! ๐Ÿ™‚ But you know, I can’t talk to my girlfriends about this. I can’t talk to my MIL about this… boo. My friends keep inviting me to come visit them in their respective cities and I keep having to make up bogus excuses (the web of lies continues) why I can’t come. I feel like such a bitch and I’m afraid they’re getting mad… or maybe they realize something is up with me. Hopefully, the latter.

Third order of business: Jon & Kate. I was NOT expecting this. I kind of thought they were going to announce they were taking a break… from the show! And then as the date got closer, I thought that oh maybe they were going to have a separation from each other – but I still clung to that hope that they weren’t headed for divorce. Well. I was wrong. I’m really sad. Hubby & I totally looked up to them as parents of multiples. There were many days we’d be like “Jon & Kate made it, so can we!” And they just renewed their vows, what, last season? I’m sad for them, I’m sad for the kids – and we’re both upset with Jon. Yes, Kate appears to be snippy at times (but I’ll back her up forever – I can be snippy too, and sometimes snippiness is the only way things get done; besides, who doesn’t joke that their husband is lousy in the kitchen? okay, I don’t totally because he’s a pretty great cook but he doesn’t actually know WHERE anything is in the kitchen… I’m getting off-track…) but apartment hunting in NYC (a 1-bedroom no less)? Being spotted multiple times with a woman ten years your junior? It really appears that Jon is just running away from his responsibilities. Kate said that she has tried to talk to him and he never wants to talk it out. We always thought they were pretty religious. Even if they’re not going to Church every weekend, wouldn’t you think they’d try some sort of counseling – I mean, just throwing in the towel doesn’t sound right. And that’s kind of what we feel Jon is doing. Of course, my opinions are solely based on what we see on the show, what I read in the gossips, etc…. but ah, it just stinks. The newest thing I read said Kate was actually the one who filed and there are reasons that she won’t discuss at this time. I’m wondering if she actually caught him cheating or something terrible like that….. it’s all so sad. I wish this wasn’t happening in their lives. I’m totally bummed.

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