Oh, Disappointment…. you bitch.

I’ll just lay it out.

A few weeks ago, our flight out west to see DMB at the Gorge was changed. This was the third time it was changed, the third time I had to call & get the flight changed back to the original flight plans (long story short, the new flight had us flying east on a layover just to get back on another plane and fly west to our destination – this makes no sense, obviously). So I had the flight changed back. My husband said, if they can’t change it back just get a full refund and we’ll find other airfare.

This morning, I got a lovely email notifying me of Urgent News. Our flight has been cancelled. I called said husband who didn’t answer his phone. Twice. Nor did he call me back within the allotted time I was giving him. So I took it upon myself to call and figure out our flight. When it couldn’t be changed to my satisfaction I got a full refund and started to look for other airfare. I found airfare, but it’s nearly twice what we were paying previously. This cost, plus car rental, plus two nights hotel after camping/concerts, plus the bill we received in the mail for my 3-hour hospital stay for a G**D*** UTI (which could have been diagnosed IN my doctor’s office instead of me being sent directly to Labor & Delivery… growl, I’m not getting into that now) – it’s all too much money. So now we’re not going.

Devastated is probably too dramatic a word to use. SUPER FUCKING DISAPPOINTED is closer to the feeling but not strong enough. I’m so bummed out. I know that everything happens for a reason. I’ve had enough crazy things happen to me in my life to know that there’s always a reason, and it’s normally a good reason. And if I can’t figure out the good reason, I will eventually. I have my big ultrasound three days before we were supposed to leave for this trip. What if that ultrasound showed something bad and we were going to end up not being able to go on the trip anyways? What if I am already dilated and have to be put on immediate bed rest? What if they find a second baby in there? What if we went on the trip and something happened to Junie or Mags? I’d never forgive myself if I couldn’t get to them fast enough. What if we went on the trip and I went into labor? Or I lost the baby? I would never forgive myself. Everything happens for a reason. I ought to get that tattooed on my arm.

So, we’re not going. We’ve got quite three sets of tickets to sell PLUS two other sets of tickets we were planning on selling anyways… at the most it will be a loss of around $500. Plus of course, the $550 bill from the hospital. Our insurance covered most of it, but it’s pretty crazy that $550 is still owed. I mean, seriously. They tested my piss and gave me a glass of cranberry juice. And checked my baby’s heartbeat… I was there less than three hours. That (the hospital bill) makes me want to NOT have a c-section and push this baby out in the comfort of my own home. No crazy hospital charges here (providing everything went fine and we didn’t have to be rushed to the hospital). While I know my doctor is okay with me having a VBAC, I can be pretty sure she wouldn’t be down with me birthing this child at home. Maybe it will come by itself. I’ve heard of crazier things (like ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’)…. and it’s possible to deliver a baby in a car, or on the living room floor if it coming fast…

Disappointment SUCKS. I’m going to go soothe my disappointment with a Flavor-Ice.

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