My cat died today. I’m really upset. I’m really sad. I don’t know what to write about it. She was attacked by the dog that lives three houses down from us. The dog’s owner felt really bad. He actually cried when my husband went to pick her up. This was after I had run down the street and collapsed on the sidewalk sobbing. (It was quite a scene, really. But I’m okay with that.)
She went quickly, I’ve been told.
I held her for about half an hour in a chair in the backyard. I was surprised at how fast rigor mortis set in actually. My poor little kitty. I know it was good for me to hold her. She wasn’t mangled or anything. The dog had snapped her neck/back (one or the other). We had the girls come outside and say “bye” to the cat. They pet her and said “byebye”. I’m not sure they understand that she’ll never come meowing around again… but maybe they’ll remember her? One of their first words was “meow” – and all because of this cat.
My husband brought me a box and one of her favorite blankets. I wrapped her up and we taped the box shut. I wrote in a red permanent marker on the top of the box. Then he dug a big hole in the backyard and I threw some dirt on her “coffin”. I did that when my good friend died (it’s a Muslim tradition to have all funeral attendees throw a handful of dirt on the coffin). And then he placed three huge granite slabs of rock we had found in our yard last year on top of the freshly covered hole.
I never expected her to live twenty years – she’s far too adventurous and curious for a long life. But I really didn’t think it would be so soon. She was six years old. I’ve had her for her whole life. While she was never a very friendly cat to most people, she never once swiped or was mean to my daughters. That always meant a lot to me. You know? She was a good girl.
I’m holding up better than expected. I’m sure things will get worse as the night/week progresses. And easier in the years to come. In times like these, I have to believe that things happen for a reason and that God has deemed a purpose for everything. If I didn’t believe that, I would have let go of that rope a long time ago.
I’m worried about my other cat… I don’t know if she was there when it happened. I don’t know if she knows. We weren’t sure if we should show her that her sister was gone; like show her the body? I don’t know. We thought we should, and then we thought it might upset her. Does she know her sister is gone? Will she be able to smell her in the backyard? Will she be upset? I figure she will be lonely…
I’m also worried that I’m so upset I’m going to hurt my little Snowdrop. She’s moved a little bit since this all “went down”. But not as much as normal. I’ve also had a persistent pain just below my rib cage, at the top of where my belly is. I hope everything is okay inside.
Rest in Peace my sweet kitty. I love you very much and I’m so sorry you are gone. 😦