Are parents of multiples really more likely to divorce?
I didn’t think about this until Kate Gosselin infamously said it.
I think that life for parents of multiples (most notably the first year) is absolutely, 100%, no question about it, harder than for parents of just one child. After giving birth to a singleton and experiencing what life “could have been” with just one – I do feel that I’m entitled to make such an observation and opinion. Life with one child is a breeze. Sure, you have the late nights, the same worries, the financial concerns – but with two (or more) it is literally twice (or more) as much. I think having those extra stresses can swing you both ways. Sometimes it makes your bond stronger, and sometimes it can pull you apart.
When our daughters were born, my husband and I were also dealing with becoming newlyweds, me moving to the Little City, us buying a house, him starting to support a family, etc. There was a LOT more going on for us than just “having babies”. We had a lot of support from family and most of our friends – and this was essential to our survival.
I think that if you had a strong bond before, you are more likely to come out ahead and far away from divorce. I’m not sure if I think that parents of multiples are more likely to get divorced. I can see how that phrase might be true (given the stresses of being a parent of multiples) but for the most part, I don’t really think it is true. I think that as parent of multiples, you really become a TEAM and that the craziness of doing it together brings you closer. This is, at least, my experience. We don’t have a picture perfect marriage (believe me) but we’re able to work things out. We WANT to be married for the rest of our lives. We KNOW that we will fight and disagree. We ACCEPT that. We REMEMBER that we were by each others’ side during what seemed to be the worst of times, and that we survived.
So… I guess my answer is no. I don’t think we’re more likely. In fact, I think we’re less likely. I think that the more you survive as a couple, the more likely you’re going to stick together.