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The Short Story…

The short story because I’m oh-so-exhausted…. I started feeling weird over the weekend and we walked around the baseball game all afternoon on Sunday with the girls. I chalked up my icky feelings that night to over-walking myself… Monday, I felt worse but figured my back hurt just because of all that walking. My belly was sore, too, so I figured I’d give myself a whole day to rest up and by Tuesday I’d feel better.

Not. So. Much.

Tuesday I could hardly walk down the stairs because I was in so much pain. My lower back, my stomach – it all hurt so much. My doctor’s office told me I should go directly to Labor & Delivery at the hospital (GASP!!!!)…. So, the babysitter came over & off Hubby and I went to L&D. I was so afraid. 16 weeks 4 days is WAY TOO EARLY to be in labor. WTF….

They checked me in and ran some tests and as it turns out I’ve got a UTI. GROSS. YUCK. EW. WHAT?!!?!?! EW. EW. I’m totally grossed out by that fact, glad that the source of my excruciating pain has been found but grossed out nonetheless. I take good care of myself and my ‘lady parts’ so… needless to say, I’m bummed I’ve developed this infection. I guess it’s common for pregnant women to contract UTI’s??? The nurse started me on some cranberry juice while we waited for my doc to write a Rx.

Sure enough, up came the cranberry juice into a complimentary wet umbrella bag outside of the hospital before Hubby could pull the car around. Boo. We got home & I pretty much fell asleep. I tried some more cranberry juice later that night and I can pretty much safely say I will never drink it ever again as my second attempt turned out just as ‘well’ as the first… everything landing in the sink. I didn’t even make it to the toilet. Not only was I not keeping down liquids (read: I’m getting more dehydrated as the minutes tick on…) I wasn’t even keeping down the meds. I threw up all day, all night, and all morning. Violently. It was terrible. I thought I might be dying. Really. I thought my head was going to EXPLODE.

My doctor changed my Rx the next morning and I’ve been going okay ever since. Okay, other than the INSANE headaches I’ve had – a direct result of me not being able to drink anything because sitting up hurts my head too much. A vicious, really sucky, painful cycle. ICK. I couldn’t sit up to drink, I was so sick I didn’t feel like drinking, I haven’t been eating… you get the drill. We were supposed to be at my cousin’s wedding this weekend in Colorado. I’m totally bummed we didn’t get to go on account of this infection but there was no way I was dragging myself across the country in this condition. No way.

This was all on Tuesday. It’s now Friday, and I was finally able to move out of bed and downstairs to the couch this morning. It’s been hard being away from the girls but I’ve really needed the rest. I’ve still got my headaches but have been able to drink a little bit more today so that’s helpful.

I will write again when I’m up and at ’em. This pregnancy is certainly turning out to be more difficult than the other one I had…with twins. What’s that about? They’re not kidding when they say every pregnancy is different.

Oh, and I’m 17 weeks!! Whoopie!!! 🙂

OH – AND BIG NEWS -> Juniper went poopy in the potty today!!! She motioned to us that she felt like pooping and said “yeah” when we asked her if she needed to poop. Sure enough, she actually went on the potty!!! We’re soooooooooo very proud of her. I know there will be many setbacks after this but now that she’s done it once… we’re over one hurdle. I hope Magnolia catches on, I can tell she really wants to do it, too. 🙂

(And this really was the “short story”. LI ->Laughing Inside.. because my head hurts too much to actually LOL.)

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Next Appointment Tomorrow

My next appointment is TOMORROW!!! It’s finally come! I’m not used to this waiting four weeks between appointments stuff! 🙂 I’m really excited and I really hope we can find the heartbeat. We’ll have an ultrasound, too. Of course, I’m still worried about there not being a baby in there, but based on the size of my boobs & my belly… there’s gotta be a baby in there.  I’ve also been pretty sick, as per usual. Plus, I know I’ve felt it moving. During my first pregnancy, I felt movement from very early on. My doctor said I was probably just gassy but once the movements became more defined and stronger – I was sure those first few flutters I had been feeling were in fact coming from my kids. I’m sure these are baby flutters, too. I always thought it would be strange, as if there was an alien inside of me… but it never really was. It was more funny than alien-like.

Providing I’m past the first trimester (fingers crossed… I’m just not sure I can handle being less pregnant than that. It would mean I took the test a mere two weeks after conceiving – and that’s nuts for someone not even regular or trying to conceive.) – again, Providing I’m past the first trimester and we hear the heartbeat, we’re going to tell Hubby’s family tomorrow at the poolhouse. The very poolhouse where we told them that we were expecting not one, but two babies. It’s neat that we get to share the same news with them again in the same place. I like consistency. Haha. We really wanted to tell both of our families at the same time, however…. my mom is a real c**t (I’ll spare those of you who hate that word – I don’t use it lightly, only when truly applicable.) and screwed that over for the rest of my family. It’s a situation I’d rather not get into right now as I’m trying to keep as low-stress as possible. This is not really working as I seem to have lots of dreams where I’m yelling at her about all the things I’m mad about. I’ll write about it some day but today will not be the day.

ANYWAYS, I really hope we can tell them (Hubby’s family), it was very hard to deny champagne on the 4th and get away with saying I was tired from running around with the kids all day… seriously, we’re getting deeper & deeper into the lies. And it’s also more difficult to hide my belly. I’m clearly pregnant.

One of my very very very very best friends in the whole wide world lives in New Orleans. She was driving from Michigan to N.O. with two of her friends last night when they decided to take an hour detour and stay at our home instead of driving overnight. I absolutely NEEDED to have a friend near me last night. Just her presence gave me a reboost – this was the first Tuesday in a while where I haven’t felt overwhelmed (Hubby has golf on Tuesdays and is usually gone until after the kids go to bed…) from the long day of handling the girls all by myself. Now, if only I could get my friends to show up in town on random every week I’d be good! (haha)

Will write more tomorrow after the appointment. Please say a little prayer I’m past the first trimester & we hear a heartbeat! 🙂

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I’m driving myself crazy…. yep…

I’m driving myself crazy. I can’t stop thinking about the small fetal pole and how I’m measuring small for how far along I should be… I’m just so confused. I had a day (maybe two) of spotting around the time I should have gotten my period – could it have been my period? I’m not sure I’ve ever had it be that short before… I mean, I’ve got a messed up cycle, but 2 days has never happened. If that’s the case, being only six weeks along makes sense…. but still not totally. I just don’t think it was. Don’t I know my own body well enough by now?

I’m trying not to get my hopes up that this baby is okay and growing. Maybe it’s just behind… but I’m still not getting my hopes up. Hubby doesn’t understand why I’m taking this stance. I just want to prepare myself for what would be the worst EVER.

I go to Quest Diagnostics (why are they the ONLY place that does these things?) this morning for my blood tests. I am apprehensive about this because I’m not a great blood-giver. I tried to donate when I was much younger but was told it would take too long for me to donate the required amount…something about my blood being thick I thought. Anyways, I tend to get woozy and light-headed anyways so I haven’t tried since. But the other time I had to give blood for a test, the same thing happened and it took a long-ass time to fill up all the viles they needed. Barf.

The girls are awake so I must leave my writing haven for now. I’m glad I’m keeping up on the blog this time. I’ll have to finish the girls’ story at some point as they’ll be two this Fall and I haven’t even written about their birth story yet!

Wish me luck at Quest! 🙂

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Doctor’s Appointment Update!

WELL.

There’s only one baby in there.

*sigh* My heart was POUNDING as the doctor inserted the transvaginal ultrasound thingy to check my uterus for more than one baby. POUNDING. And then it turned out to be just one. I have to admit, I was totally bummed. I know, I should be grateful I’m pregnant with all the women in the world who can’t conceive…. but I totally feel like I failed. My ovaries failed me, haha. I’m not a double dropper like I thought! And another part of me feels like maybe I failed as a mom of twins and that’s why I’m not getting them again. I know God only gives me what I can handle, but I thought… I don’t know what I thought. I just feel…. disappointed. I know, I’m nuts.

The “fetal pole”… (I hate the word fetus, fetal, etc. I prefer baby, but whatever let’s be medical for a minute.)… The “fetal pole” is measuring 6 weeks 5 days, however according to my LMP (last menstrual period) I’m 9 weeks pregnant with a New Year’s Day 2010 due date! Thus, I am confused. Baffled, even. It’s measuring .78cm which according to my conversion calculator is 7.8mm.

Now that I’ve typed that out, I can’t believe I had to look up a conversion calculator to do that math. I’ve never been good at math. In fact, from high school through college, I had teachers pass me in math class just because they knew I was throwing everything I had into trying to understand….I just never got it. I was reading by the time I was three – Go figure.

Ok, so I’m 9 weeks but the baby is measuring 6 weeks. Of course, through all my research (I know, I should just be leaving this up to the medical professionals and not Google…), there’s a great chance this will end up as one of those pregnancies that just doesn’t end up taking. AKA, the dreaded miscarriage…. I go back in two weeks for another ultrasound to determine growth and to get the results of the blood tests I’m required to take. I’m just so confused, has anyone else gone through this measuring small for the size you should be? We could hardly see anything on the screen but my doctor chalked it up to the new equipment and that they hadn’t really figured out how to set the lighting on it yet…. I’m an over-thinking worry-wort so of course my mind is racing. Why is it so small? How come if I’m 9 weeks it’s not bigger? When was this child conceived???????????????????????????????? I’m baffled. It seems like such a blur, the month of April – between friends in town, Easter in the Big City, Grandma being sick and eventually passing…. we just can’t figure out when the ‘venomous snake’ let loose and made a baby – which furthers the 9 week/6 week confusion.

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I wish I could put my head on mute. 😦

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Barf

I spent, literally, most of yesterday puking. I’ve been feeling icky lately but since I hadn’t taken a pregnancy test… I don’t think my mind ever really let me FEEEEEEL pregnant. Now, I feel pregnant. And now my mind is letting me really be sick. I threw up twice at my in-law’s house last night (yeah, try hiding that well…) and had to excuse myself outside for fresh air numerous times. The smell of dinner was nauseating. I had one bite of chicken (which ended up being secretly placed in my napkin because ‘chewing meat’ suddenly became really gross) and a couple bites of asparagus. I think my mother-in-law suspects I’m pregnant. (I love my mother-in-law. I really wanted to tell her. I’ve got a wonderful, non-overbearing, helpful, fabulous MIL. I’m probably the luckiest girl in the world.) We finished dinner quickly and used the girls’ impending bedtime as an excuse to leave….fast.

I threw up several times last night (several as in seven or eight) and the last time I threw up was this morning. Bile. MMMM. Great. Haven’t thrown up bile since I was pregnant with the girls.

What if it IS twins again? Crap. I do want twins again. But Crap, just the same.

I was so sick before.

Oh and last night, one time I woke up quite literally drenched in my own sweat. Is that even normal? I never remembered that happening before. I have a doctor’s appointment in two weeks. I’m asking for anti-nausea medicine.

Several times last night, my tongue made me gag & head to the bathroom. Just the way it was lying in my mouth when I lay on my side… seriously, my tongue grossed me out.

I’m so pregnant. lol. Barf.

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