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C-Section vs VBAC?

My doctor is a supporter of either option I choose. She says I’m a good candidate for a VBAC because my previous c-section was mainly due to my not progressing after 18 1/2 hours of labor, the twin factor, & Baby A freaking out. So basically, it’s totally up to me to decide.

Oh, good. It’s so easy for me to make decisions. (Sarcasm Font Needed Here.)

When I had the girls, I went into the hospital with every intention of birthing them vaginally with no drugs at all. The labor pains weren’t terrible. (Seriously. I only progressed to 7cm before I stopped progressing & Baby A freaked out. Don’t hate me for not being in a ton of pain. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt – but it wasn’t awful or unbearable. It wasn’t the type of pain I’d need medicine for. It was more of a…. very uncomfortable hurting. Again, don’t hate me if you thought labor was the most painful EVER. Sidenote: Also, I rarely if ever get cramps before my period. Sometimes I think this attributed to why I didn’t progress. Maybe my lack of cramps had something to do with not having strong enough contractions to open me up?? I do get massive backaches before and after my periods so I’m not without some awful period pain…)

So like I said, labor didn’t hurt so bad. I’m not afraid of pushing a baby out my vag… I’m more afraid when I read things like my c-section uterine scar could rupture. Or, I could tear all the way through to my butthole. YUCK. OUCH. That just sounds… awful. I also don’t like the word “episiotomy”… Mainly, the rupturing is what got me questioning the whole VBAC. I’m not comfortable with the word “rupture” ESPECIALLY if it pertains to something inside my body. I just don’t like the sound of it! Based on my last “trial of labor”… my body wasn’t having it. Maybe I’m too tiny to birth a baby naturally… in which case I’d end up having a c-section after sitting in labor for another 18 hours or so.

If I DO go ahead with a VBAC, I don’t want drugs. I want to do it au naturale. A la prarie girls of the olden days…

A c-section, I’ve done. I’m “experienced” in that realm. The recovery was not fun… it took a good 8 weeks before I felt “normal” again. But it’s only 8 weeks of my life. My scar isn’t bad at all, it had practically disappeared before I got pregnant this time. I’m not really concerned about the scar anyways. So I’ve got a “battle wound”, good for me. I’m not posing for Playboy anytime soon and Lord knows I won’t be in a bikini ever again so I really don’t mind about having a scar on my belly. Meh, Playboy could always airbrush it out. 😉 I’ve also read that multiple c-sections aren’t good for the body (that makes sense, really) and that many doctors won’t perform more than three c-sections on a uterus because it gets too risky with each one. I haven’t discussed this with my doctor but I don’t want to just say “Okay, only one more baby after this!”… it’s not really up to me how many kids we have. Hubby and I have placed God in charge of that. He’s done a fine job so far! Thanks, Man! 🙂 I also really don’t like the idea of choosing my kid’s birthday – I want her to come when she wants to. I like the surprise of it all.

A c-section is more expensive than a vaginal birth. But if I attempt a vaginal birth and end up with a c-section it’s more expensive than going with a c-section in the first place. I know I shouldn’t let money decide what happens… but I can’t help but be aware of the costs of delivering a baby. We have insurance but it’s still going to be a f*ck on our savings.

Anyone out there have a VBAC? Or went through this same thing? I’d love to know how it all worked out. I have no idea what to do. 🙂

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Oh, Disappointment…. you bitch.

I’ll just lay it out.

A few weeks ago, our flight out west to see DMB at the Gorge was changed. This was the third time it was changed, the third time I had to call & get the flight changed back to the original flight plans (long story short, the new flight had us flying east on a layover just to get back on another plane and fly west to our destination – this makes no sense, obviously). So I had the flight changed back. My husband said, if they can’t change it back just get a full refund and we’ll find other airfare.

This morning, I got a lovely email notifying me of Urgent News. Our flight has been cancelled. I called said husband who didn’t answer his phone. Twice. Nor did he call me back within the allotted time I was giving him. So I took it upon myself to call and figure out our flight. When it couldn’t be changed to my satisfaction I got a full refund and started to look for other airfare. I found airfare, but it’s nearly twice what we were paying previously. This cost, plus car rental, plus two nights hotel after camping/concerts, plus the bill we received in the mail for my 3-hour hospital stay for a G**D*** UTI (which could have been diagnosed IN my doctor’s office instead of me being sent directly to Labor & Delivery… growl, I’m not getting into that now) – it’s all too much money. So now we’re not going.

Devastated is probably too dramatic a word to use. SUPER FUCKING DISAPPOINTED is closer to the feeling but not strong enough. I’m so bummed out. I know that everything happens for a reason. I’ve had enough crazy things happen to me in my life to know that there’s always a reason, and it’s normally a good reason. And if I can’t figure out the good reason, I will eventually. I have my big ultrasound three days before we were supposed to leave for this trip. What if that ultrasound showed something bad and we were going to end up not being able to go on the trip anyways? What if I am already dilated and have to be put on immediate bed rest? What if they find a second baby in there? What if we went on the trip and something happened to Junie or Mags? I’d never forgive myself if I couldn’t get to them fast enough. What if we went on the trip and I went into labor? Or I lost the baby? I would never forgive myself. Everything happens for a reason. I ought to get that tattooed on my arm.

So, we’re not going. We’ve got quite three sets of tickets to sell PLUS two other sets of tickets we were planning on selling anyways… at the most it will be a loss of around $500. Plus of course, the $550 bill from the hospital. Our insurance covered most of it, but it’s pretty crazy that $550 is still owed. I mean, seriously. They tested my piss and gave me a glass of cranberry juice. And checked my baby’s heartbeat… I was there less than three hours. That (the hospital bill) makes me want to NOT have a c-section and push this baby out in the comfort of my own home. No crazy hospital charges here (providing everything went fine and we didn’t have to be rushed to the hospital). While I know my doctor is okay with me having a VBAC, I can be pretty sure she wouldn’t be down with me birthing this child at home. Maybe it will come by itself. I’ve heard of crazier things (like ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’)…. and it’s possible to deliver a baby in a car, or on the living room floor if it coming fast…

Disappointment SUCKS. I’m going to go soothe my disappointment with a Flavor-Ice.

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