Tag Archives: pregnant brain

Next Appointment Tomorrow

My next appointment is TOMORROW!!! It’s finally come! I’m not used to this waiting four weeks between appointments stuff! 🙂 I’m really excited and I really hope we can find the heartbeat. We’ll have an ultrasound, too. Of course, I’m still worried about there not being a baby in there, but based on the size of my boobs & my belly… there’s gotta be a baby in there.  I’ve also been pretty sick, as per usual. Plus, I know I’ve felt it moving. During my first pregnancy, I felt movement from very early on. My doctor said I was probably just gassy but once the movements became more defined and stronger – I was sure those first few flutters I had been feeling were in fact coming from my kids. I’m sure these are baby flutters, too. I always thought it would be strange, as if there was an alien inside of me… but it never really was. It was more funny than alien-like.

Providing I’m past the first trimester (fingers crossed… I’m just not sure I can handle being less pregnant than that. It would mean I took the test a mere two weeks after conceiving – and that’s nuts for someone not even regular or trying to conceive.) – again, Providing I’m past the first trimester and we hear the heartbeat, we’re going to tell Hubby’s family tomorrow at the poolhouse. The very poolhouse where we told them that we were expecting not one, but two babies. It’s neat that we get to share the same news with them again in the same place. I like consistency. Haha. We really wanted to tell both of our families at the same time, however…. my mom is a real c**t (I’ll spare those of you who hate that word – I don’t use it lightly, only when truly applicable.) and screwed that over for the rest of my family. It’s a situation I’d rather not get into right now as I’m trying to keep as low-stress as possible. This is not really working as I seem to have lots of dreams where I’m yelling at her about all the things I’m mad about. I’ll write about it some day but today will not be the day.

ANYWAYS, I really hope we can tell them (Hubby’s family), it was very hard to deny champagne on the 4th and get away with saying I was tired from running around with the kids all day… seriously, we’re getting deeper & deeper into the lies. And it’s also more difficult to hide my belly. I’m clearly pregnant.

One of my very very very very best friends in the whole wide world lives in New Orleans. She was driving from Michigan to N.O. with two of her friends last night when they decided to take an hour detour and stay at our home instead of driving overnight. I absolutely NEEDED to have a friend near me last night. Just her presence gave me a reboost – this was the first Tuesday in a while where I haven’t felt overwhelmed (Hubby has golf on Tuesdays and is usually gone until after the kids go to bed…) from the long day of handling the girls all by myself. Now, if only I could get my friends to show up in town on random every week I’d be good! (haha)

Will write more tomorrow after the appointment. Please say a little prayer I’m past the first trimester & we hear a heartbeat! 🙂

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Three Errands WITH the Girls!!!

Wow!! It was such a nice day, slightly too hot once we were on our way home, I decided to run some errands with the girls. I don’t normally do this. However, since a new baby is on the way I feel compelled to get them used to going out in public with me & walking across parking lots holding my hand & sitting like big girls in shopping carts! They are going to have to be big girls sooner than later and now’s the perfect time to start. I took them to the pet store to get one of our cats a new collar & name tag. She (the cat) seemed to have wiggled her way out of her collar… and we can’t find it! I knew the collar was too big and so I made smaller holes but she’s a damn smart cat and figured out how to take it off anyways. Oh well. It only stinks because I now don’t have her original AVID tag & I’m not sure if I can get one of those reprinted…? I’ll find out in a few weeks when I take them to the Vet. I was going to grab her (the cat) a new rabies replacement tag today but I remembered they (the two cats) go to the Vet in July so…. she can wait two weeks for a new tag. No use going to get one now when she’ll just need a new one next month! Right? 🙂

So, off to the pet store we went for the collar & name tag. I only had to tell Juniper oh about 12 times to sit down in the shopping cart. I really didn’t feel like dealing with our stroller (it’s got a lame wheel) so I put Magnolia in the front of the cart & let Junie ride in the main area. Other than standing up all the time to see stuff, she did well in the main part. We looked at gerbils, hamsters, & birds. They were really fascinated by the birds especially when one of the workers had to capture two parakeets for a little boy who was bringing them out. The birds were flying about like crazy in their cage, tweeting, and feathers were flying everywhere. The Girls were just DELIGHTED by this and kept signing “more” and saying “more”… it was cute! 🙂 I love that they are talking more but still using the signs at the same time. They are even picking up more signs & using them with new words. It’s so cool to see them learning. 🙂 We also got treats to give the cats since they were on sale for $1/package and because I thought it would be fun for the girls to feed them treats. They feed their grandma’s dog treats whenever we’re at their house and they (the girls) just love it. I think they feel important.

After the pet store, we went to Michael’s craft store to pick up posterboard & paint pens. I switched the girls around this time in the shopping cart, so Mags was in back & Junie was in the front part. Mags is much better at consistently sitting but I still had to tell her a few times to sit down. They’re only 22 months after all. Well, Michael’s didn’t have the brand of paint pen I need (I want to be sure to have the same colors on this project I’m working on – painting gold plastic butterflies to match their room of purple & green) but I was able to get some black posterboards to frame our most recent concert posters (Bonnaroo, Phish, & Dave Matthews). We’re HUGE music fans and one of our favorite things to do is frequent concerts & music events. We always like to get a poster from what we attend. We’ve got quite a collection started! Mainly a lot of DMB stuff but…. we’ve also got some others. I dream of getting a Led Zeppelin poster some day. Not just any poster, but one from the show I will attend. They’ve just GOT to do an American tour…. they’ve GOT TO!!! I like all our posters to be in the same flat black frame (from Target) & be framed in a black mat. We can’t ever find the right size mat so we’ve taken to black posterboard & cutting the mat out ourselves. It works for us & I’m happy with how they turn out. With our 22 foot ceilings, it certainly is a great way to fill in space on our walls & keep our memories at hand. And I think the girls like all the different illustrations & colors. So Michael’s went well & I only had ONE person ask me if they were twins. (DUH. I even had them dressed EXACTLY alike – not something I normally do but in my pregnant state, I’m frankly too tired some days to care. Bad Mommy.) But the lady also commented on how lovely and “incredible” their red hair is… so I can’t totally complain. It is gorgeous. And the girls knew better than to come out without red hair. I knew they’d be redheaded; they had to be. 🙂

I was starving and wasn’t totally planning this third “errand” but I took the girls to this tiny italian place to pick up cheesy garlic bread & ravioli. For me. Not for them, it’s not organic. But I couldn’t help myself. I was staaaaarving & the Baby wanted this food. Today. So I brought the girls in, no stroller, they held my hands and walked from car to restaurant door. This was only about 20 feet but still – a new thing for us!! 🙂 They were so great inside the restaurant while I placed my order and we waited for our food. Magnolia sat quite patiently on the bench and “read” the menu. Juniper did more exploring than sitting but they were both really well behaved. I’m so proud of my girls when they are good in public places. They’re good kids to begin with but it’s nice all the same. So I got my lunch and we headed home to get them their lunch & take naps.

All in all, a great day with my girls. They were so great running errands I just might bring them back to the pet store tomorrow to return the collar (it’s too big for the cat…) & to return the posterboards to the craft store (too small for the frames…). Ah, pregnant brain is so funny. 🙂

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Father’s Day, Pregnant Thoughts, Jon & Kate…..

Father’s Day was lots of fun! I ended up not having to film any scenes for the movie so I had the whole day off!! When we first arranged the schedule we were supposed to be filming on Saturday but they called me back five minutes later and said “Would Sunday be okay?” And since our family doesn’t normally do much other than Mass on Sunday…. well, I said “sure!” without checking to make sure nothing was going on. Oops. 🙂 So, I had called my director earlier in the week to see if we could cut the day in half but never heard back from him… cut to Saturday and I call up our video guy and he informs me that “we” pushed back my (my, as in me) filming dates until the next Sunday… leave it to men to be in charge and forget to share the details with everyone else. LOL. Whatever – I was just happy that I didn’t have to leave Hubby at home babysitting on his Big Day. So, we got to go out to brunch at one of our favorite local restaurants. It’s the same place where we went for lunch the day we found out we were having twins… Anyways, I was glad I didn’t have to cook that morning as I wasn’t feeling snazzy AND I got to have eggs benedict. Win Win for me. 🙂 Haha. We had to bring our own high chairs because the restaurant only has two of their own… and we’re totally okay with bringing our own – with twins, you’ve got to be able to accommodate to a situation. And gosh darnit, we weren’t letting anything stand in our way of going to brunch. HAHAHA. 🙂
After brunch, we went to the In-Laws for swimming & barbequing. I did a great job at hiding my belly. It’s still not totally noticeable but… I spent lots of the day doing my best at holding it in! 🙂 Dinner was awesome – ribs and all the fixings – and I ate, and ate, and ate. By that time, I was so hungry I didn’t care if people noticed how much I ate. Plus, I had been psyching myself up for ribs all weekend – I was ready for a slab.

Pregnant Thoughts. My next appointment with the doctor is not until July 8th. I’m really stressing about this pregnancy:

1. I feel really badly because I’ve been eating so many processed foods (ex. Fresh garlic has been a big turnoff but I have no problem with garlic powder…) – like, what’s the deal with that? My first pregnancy I was totally turned off by processed foods. I couldn’t eat much that wasn’t fresh fresh fresh! This pregnancy: I’ve eaten McDonald’s once, Wendy’s once, AND there was a late night Taco Bell run – I can’t even BELIEVE I’m admitting that. Not to mention the condensed Campbell’s Homestyle Chicken Noodle soup that I can’t get enough of. What gives??? I can’t even choke down my Flintstone vitamins most days. I feel like such a bad mom. AND I’m not drinking enough milk, or eating enough calcium rich foods. FAIL.

2. No heartbeat yet. We don’t own a doppler so I can’t check for one myself. And since my doc couldn’t find one at the last appointment… I’m still freaking out. Is this why I don’t FEEL pregnant? Because I haven’t heard the heartbeat?

3. Not sure how far I am. Again, is this why I don’t FEEL pregnant? Since the baby was measuring so small for how far along we thought I was…. we’re still not sure how far along I actually am. I could be past the first trimester, in which case – there should be a heartbeat, and we could finally tell people I’m pregnant. But with no heartbeat, and not knowing for sure how far along I am… it’s a like a double-doozie-can’t-tell-anyone kind of situation. BLAH. WTF! I’m just in a really weird place these days with all the… unsure-ity (yes, not the word I’m looking for but I have massive pregnant brain this time around) as to the progression of this pregnancy.

4. I think because it was twins last time and I had so many doctors appointments that I didn’t have too much time between them to be worried & think up the worst & overthink everything. I wish I wasn’t one of those needy patients. I totally am though. 😦

5. Pregnant Brain. Seriously, people think I’ve been drinking midday. I said “Cone Phon-versation” to my cousin on Father’s Day, not to mention the forgetfulness of complete conversations with my husband, and saying things like “Let’s go play in the yard, kids…. I mean, the hou- no, the pool.” Seriously, I sound like the town drunk. It was not this bad last time around. Not even close to this bad. Maybe, if there IS a baby in there, it will be a genius since it seems to be sucking the brain out of me.

6. This secret-keeping, lie-telling, etc that’s been going on because of the no heartbeat-small measuring, etc……….. ahhhhhhhhhhh! It’s so hard to do. It’s just building up inside of me more and more every day. I have no one to lean on, to discuss my feelings – except for you dear readers so thanks for reading! 🙂 But you know, I can’t talk to my girlfriends about this. I can’t talk to my MIL about this… boo. My friends keep inviting me to come visit them in their respective cities and I keep having to make up bogus excuses (the web of lies continues) why I can’t come. I feel like such a bitch and I’m afraid they’re getting mad… or maybe they realize something is up with me. Hopefully, the latter.

Third order of business: Jon & Kate. I was NOT expecting this. I kind of thought they were going to announce they were taking a break… from the show! And then as the date got closer, I thought that oh maybe they were going to have a separation from each other – but I still clung to that hope that they weren’t headed for divorce. Well. I was wrong. I’m really sad. Hubby & I totally looked up to them as parents of multiples. There were many days we’d be like “Jon & Kate made it, so can we!” And they just renewed their vows, what, last season? I’m sad for them, I’m sad for the kids – and we’re both upset with Jon. Yes, Kate appears to be snippy at times (but I’ll back her up forever – I can be snippy too, and sometimes snippiness is the only way things get done; besides, who doesn’t joke that their husband is lousy in the kitchen? okay, I don’t totally because he’s a pretty great cook but he doesn’t actually know WHERE anything is in the kitchen… I’m getting off-track…) but apartment hunting in NYC (a 1-bedroom no less)? Being spotted multiple times with a woman ten years your junior? It really appears that Jon is just running away from his responsibilities. Kate said that she has tried to talk to him and he never wants to talk it out. We always thought they were pretty religious. Even if they’re not going to Church every weekend, wouldn’t you think they’d try some sort of counseling – I mean, just throwing in the towel doesn’t sound right. And that’s kind of what we feel Jon is doing. Of course, my opinions are solely based on what we see on the show, what I read in the gossips, etc…. but ah, it just stinks. The newest thing I read said Kate was actually the one who filed and there are reasons that she won’t discuss at this time. I’m wondering if she actually caught him cheating or something terrible like that….. it’s all so sad. I wish this wasn’t happening in their lives. I’m totally bummed.

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