The End is Near!!!

I went to my doctor yesterday for my 39 week appointment. First of all, I can’t believe it’s been 39 weeks… I can’t believe I’ve made it THIS FAR… It’s so awesome and strange at the same time! 🙂

Everything was normal as usual. Good heartbeat, measuring fine, no real complaints from anyone. WELL… other than the fact that I weigh 152 pounds. I believe it’s a combination of a couple things: the large pasta lunch I ate prior to my appointment, the $2.50 gallon of Chocolate Edy’s Ice Cream calling out to me at Target this weekend, and being on the receiving end of many gifts of Christmas Cookies. 🙂 It’s my fault, I should not have eaten all those cookies… and I probably should have refrained from all the delicious food we’ve been eating this week as well.

I’d say that I’ll stop eating cookies until the baby is born… but we all know that would be a lie. In fact, I intend to do as I please (but not go overboard) until next Wednesday. My doctor said that anytime after 39 weeks, she feels comfortable inducing and that if I wanted to go ahead and schedule one we could do that! I left the appointment and ran some errands and within an hour had decided that yes, I wanted to schedule an appointment! I’m really ready to have this baby and I’m confident that the baby is mature enough to be born. After having twins at 35w5d with very, very, very minimal health issues… I do feel that Snowdrop is ready. So after discussion with Hubby and my In-Laws on the best time for them to watch Junie & Mags… we decided December 30th, next Wednesday, is the day! It’s my original due date (based on the ultrasound; based on LMP it’s Jan 1st but I’m super irregular so that could be wrong anyways…).

I can’t believe I’m being induced!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m SUPER nervous about it. I really hope it all goes well, smoothly, and that I’m able to have a VBAC afterall. I’m nervous that I’ll tear and ruin myself… but I’m more nervous to have another c-section. It wasn’t the worst experience in my life – but I REALLY don’t want to do it again. It was truly more the drugs than anything else associated with it. The morphine, the epidural, the after-surgery drugs… just not my thing and I really hated the way it made me feel. I really hated the way I felt on them… I can hardly remember anything that happened after I got the epidural… and the morphine? Yikes. Never again – fingers crossed, of course! It was just really scary to me. Drugs are scary.

[Yeah, I know I’ve written plenty about my past (and likely future) experiences with marijuana… and I know plenty of people would care to disagree with my views on it… but marijuana is completely different than morphine, etc. Marijuana isn’t any more of a drug than alcohol or tobacco. Morphine and all those after-surgery drugs I had to have, however, are scary. Ah, another post for another day.]

ANYWAYS…. I’m super nervous about the VBAC but I’m SUPER EXCITED about bringing Snowdrop home. It will be exhausting to have a newborn but so nice to have her out of my belly and into my arms. Recap: I’m getting induced on Dec 30th, that’s this coming Wednesday… unless she decides to make an appearance earlier than that. I’d really like for her to be born on December 27th – it seems like a fine day to be born. Just long enough after Christmas to allow for a day of rest between holiday festivities and then birthday festivities, right?

The end of this pregnancy is truly in sight now… I know I am blessed to be able to carry my own child in my very own womb & I’m very thankful for being able to experience the miracle that is LIFE – but it’s time for her to come out! 🙂

C-Section vs VBAC?

My doctor is a supporter of either option I choose. She says I’m a good candidate for a VBAC because my previous c-section was mainly due to my not progressing after 18 1/2 hours of labor, the twin factor, & Baby A freaking out. So basically, it’s totally up to me to decide.

Oh, good. It’s so easy for me to make decisions. (Sarcasm Font Needed Here.)

When I had the girls, I went into the hospital with every intention of birthing them vaginally with no drugs at all. The labor pains weren’t terrible. (Seriously. I only progressed to 7cm before I stopped progressing & Baby A freaked out. Don’t hate me for not being in a ton of pain. Don’t get me wrong, it hurt – but it wasn’t awful or unbearable. It wasn’t the type of pain I’d need medicine for. It was more of a…. very uncomfortable hurting. Again, don’t hate me if you thought labor was the most painful EVER. Sidenote: Also, I rarely if ever get cramps before my period. Sometimes I think this attributed to why I didn’t progress. Maybe my lack of cramps had something to do with not having strong enough contractions to open me up?? I do get massive backaches before and after my periods so I’m not without some awful period pain…)

So like I said, labor didn’t hurt so bad. I’m not afraid of pushing a baby out my vag… I’m more afraid when I read things like my c-section uterine scar could rupture. Or, I could tear all the way through to my butthole. YUCK. OUCH. That just sounds… awful. I also don’t like the word “episiotomy”… Mainly, the rupturing is what got me questioning the whole VBAC. I’m not comfortable with the word “rupture” ESPECIALLY if it pertains to something inside my body. I just don’t like the sound of it! Based on my last “trial of labor”… my body wasn’t having it. Maybe I’m too tiny to birth a baby naturally… in which case I’d end up having a c-section after sitting in labor for another 18 hours or so.

If I DO go ahead with a VBAC, I don’t want drugs. I want to do it au naturale. A la prarie girls of the olden days…

A c-section, I’ve done. I’m “experienced” in that realm. The recovery was not fun… it took a good 8 weeks before I felt “normal” again. But it’s only 8 weeks of my life. My scar isn’t bad at all, it had practically disappeared before I got pregnant this time. I’m not really concerned about the scar anyways. So I’ve got a “battle wound”, good for me. I’m not posing for Playboy anytime soon and Lord knows I won’t be in a bikini ever again so I really don’t mind about having a scar on my belly. Meh, Playboy could always airbrush it out. 😉 I’ve also read that multiple c-sections aren’t good for the body (that makes sense, really) and that many doctors won’t perform more than three c-sections on a uterus because it gets too risky with each one. I haven’t discussed this with my doctor but I don’t want to just say “Okay, only one more baby after this!”… it’s not really up to me how many kids we have. Hubby and I have placed God in charge of that. He’s done a fine job so far! Thanks, Man! 🙂 I also really don’t like the idea of choosing my kid’s birthday – I want her to come when she wants to. I like the surprise of it all.

A c-section is more expensive than a vaginal birth. But if I attempt a vaginal birth and end up with a c-section it’s more expensive than going with a c-section in the first place. I know I shouldn’t let money decide what happens… but I can’t help but be aware of the costs of delivering a baby. We have insurance but it’s still going to be a f*ck on our savings.

Anyone out there have a VBAC? Or went through this same thing? I’d love to know how it all worked out. I have no idea what to do. 🙂

Halfway There!!!

I’m 20 weeks today!!!!!

Baby has been moving A LOT lately. This is of course, awesome. 🙂 Hubby has managed to catch a few punches & kicks but for the most part, Baby waits until his hand is off my stomach to continue moving. Silly Baby. 🙂 According to Babycenter.com my baby is about the size of a banana from head to toe. That’s so BIG!!! I hope he or she is growing well in there.

I’m getting bigger. I think I weighed 118 at my last appointment. This, I am appalled by, but I guess this is how pregnancy goes. I hope to be back below my pre-pregnancy weight by April (95-105, hey I’m little!). Hubby says that I’ll be back to normal a month after I’m done healing from the c-section. We’ll see about that. It’s nice that he’s so optimistic but I’m not buying it. Haha. 🙂

I’m pretty sure, not positive, that I’m going to elect to have a c-section again. My doctor said I could go ahead with a VBAC… part of me wants to, the other part says no. I’m just not sure. I had the c-section with the twins for several reasons, mainly that I wasn’t progressing past 7cm after 18 1/2 hours of labor (14 1/2 of which were spent without drugs, I didn’t need them then either but… I was tricked into thinking I did, long story…), and that Baby A (Juniper) became very distressed and they thought the best option would be to take them out ASAP. We laugh now about that last one because Junie sure is our baby that gets frustrated easily. I’m not surprised she got upset during labor. 🙂

So I have a decision to make about that. I really hate the idea of choosing my baby’s birthday. I want it to come when it’s ready to come out, you know? And being due Jan 1st, that means I’d have to choose a date between Christmas & New Years. What a crummy time for a birthday! If the baby came naturally, maybe it would come when it was supposed to -> January 1st. What a lovely day, I think. 🙂

So if I have to choose a date, which date do I pick? I’m leaning towards Dec 27-30th. I don’t want to do it Dec 26th for obvious reasons. And no offense to my offspring but New Years Eve is one of my two favorite holidays and I don’t want to feel badly about leaving my child on its birthday every year so I can party. Seriously, it’s one of two days a year that I actually let go & have fun! 🙂 SO…. I’m left with Dec 27th-Dec 30th. The 27th is on a Sunday, a nice day to be born but then my Hubby would have to take the WHOLE week off work (well, most of it anyways… I suppose he could make some service calls between hanging out with me at the hospital – yes, I’m one of those who want their Hubby there as much as possible during my stay). So, thinking of his work (he works for his dad, so really it wouldn’t matter anyways…but still…) then Dec 30th (a Wednesday) would be the best day to choose because we could schedule it later in the day so he could work in the morning, and only have Thurs/Fri off, and then hopefully I’ll be back home by Sunday. I have no idea what to do.

And then there’s the VBAC. I WANTED to have the girls naturally – no drugs, no surgery, etc. That didn’t work out in my favor so this is my chance to do it. How COOL it would be!!! However. What if I didn’t progress again past the 7cm. What if something went wrong and my vag was destroyed forever? I’d be disappointed. What if something went wrong and I had to have an emergency c-section? I’d be disappointed. My friends who have had children naturally (ie. With drugs and Through the vag) (okay, there are three of them) – all had horrific births. Okay, maybe horrific isn’t the right word. One baby came out practically sideways, another girl had a TON of stitches, one just had a very unpleasant time. They said everything goes back to normal but… I’m not sure I buy that. My c-section was no fun recovering from… but to risk sharing too much information, I’m still super duper tight & I want my vag to stay that way. So does Hubby. 🙂

Any thoughts regarding birth days, scheduling c-sections, and VBACs?

Braxton Hicks – I’ve been having them. Since 18 1/2 weeks. It’s not all the time, probably twice to three times a day & three or four days a week. Of course, they come more often when I’m out running errands, or home cleaning the floors instead of resting. I just CAN’T sit and do nothing these days. It was easier when I was pregnant with the twins to just sit around and be lazy. But now, there’s always stuff to clean up, laundry to do, cups to wash, little girls to entertain…. I really like getting them out of the house and since we’ll be in the house much more when the baby comes, I feel like I need to get them out as much as possible until then. I’ll probably go into labor at Nordstroms if I keep this up. Anyways, I thought Braxton Hicks came later. I did a little research and it’s possible to have them sooner with second & later pregnancies… I’ll mention this to my doctor next time but it’s only slightly concerning as I’m having dull low back pain as well. That is a pre-labor sign. But I ALWAYS have the dull low back pain, not only when the BH’s come… so I’m not sure. Is this normal pregnant stuff, or pre-labor stuff?? Who knows. I’m trying not to let it concern me, but like I said, I’ll mention it to the doctor next time. I don’t want the baby to come TOO early. A little early is okay but I’m still only 20 weeks along and this muffin has some more cooking to do. 🙂

We find out August 31st if its a boy or a girl! And we’ll have the big ultrasound that day to determine number of arms, legs, heads, etc… We’re hoping it has two working kidneys as Magnolia only had one working one in utero and her second non-working kidney never developed and has since disappeared from her body. (The one working one is doing much better, I’m not sure if I ever wrote about that. If not, I should put that on my list of things to write about…hm….) However, we’re much better prepared this time for kidney issues are we’re more familiar with it. That’s the good part about having a second baby with kidney issues – it won’t be as scary! A little scary, but not as much as the first time around.

I can’t wait for everything. 🙂