Irked.

I’ve been working on the Mother’s Day weekend post now for a week or so (it’s still in the works!) and I’ll have another post coming about our trip to the Big City for my sisters’ graduation/prom weekend. Those will have to wait for now.

Meanwhile. I’m irked about something. Just plain irked.

See. Here’s the thing. Snowdrop’s “real” name is a variation of her Godmother’s name. Not intentional but that’s the way it worked out. Her Godmother was pregnant up until yesterday when she delivered her baby girl. See, when we were still pregnant in December we had asked her (Snowdrop’s Godmother) if she’d be using her name at all for her baby. We didn’t want to steal her name and we didn’t want our baby to share the name of another baby that we’d be seeing lots of in the future. (And if you’ve been a reader of my blog you know I want my kids to have unique names, blah, blah… etc.)

She assured us that they were DEFINITELY NOT using her name for their baby. DEFINITELY NOT.

So I’m irked because we received a text message yesterday after the baby was born. Despite definitely not planning on using said godmother’s name for their baby – they did! As a middle name, BUT STILL.

For example, let’s pretend that Godmother’s name is Joannna (it’s not, we’re just pretending) – and let’s say we ended up naming Snowdrop “Joanne Middlename”, with the understanding that Godmother Joanna wasn’t going to name her own daughter “Joanna”. But then Godmother Joanna named her daughter “Firstname Joanna”.

I know – it’s just a name, right? Well, sort of. To me it’s so much more. And because we specifically inquired about using the name…. I really wish had gotten the heads up about her using her own name. I know, she’s totally entitled to use her own name (and entitled to change her mind about not using it) but like, I JUST had my baby four months ago. It would be one thing if it were years later but it hasn’t been very long at all. Had we known, we totally would have gone with a different name. The name she ended up with wouldn’t have even been on our list.

I’m totally bummed. So is Hubby. Which makes me feel better about the whole thing knowing that he’s also bummed and would have also chosen a different name. It’s nice not to be the only one on my side.

It just irks me. And I wish I had put my foot down about my favorite name choice for Snowdrop (that we didn’t end up using). Growl.

 

Question of the Week: How did you choose your multiples’ names?

*I’m still playing catch-up with the QOTW from Multiples…and More!, this question was asked several weeks ago. And it’s a long one. For me.*

 

How did you choose your multiples’ names?

Did you stick with family names?
How do you feel about “matchy” names?
Did you worry about their names “coordinating?”
Did you name your babies before you met them, or wait until you saw them to assign names?
What were your second choices?
Did you consider the popularity of a name as a deciding factor?

The first thing I always think of when it comes to my children’s names is that they aren’t named the real names we wanted them to be named. This is particularly true for the Juniper & Magnolia, and partially true for Snowdrop. See, Hubby and I found out we were having twins and in the spirit of being the hippies (well, trust-fund-country-club hippies, except neither of us has a trust fund but you get the idea) that we are, we wanted to name our daughters something botanical and with meaning to us. We got engaged (well, our engagement night dinner) at a restaurant we loved (it’s no longer open) that had the word Juniper in it. So, Juniper was a name for our first girl. Magnolia is a flower we both love. So… Juniper & Magnolia. We love these names. We announced this to our families and were promptly shot down in abundance, even though we planned to call them Maggie & June. My mother even called me one morning to ask me not to name her granddaughters Juniper & Magnolia. While I have the stubborness of a mule when it comes to my family, Hubby does not. So… after much discussion, we settled on “normal” names. (I won’t divulge them here because as you know if you’re a reader of my blog, I use psuedonyms in bulk.) I love their names but of course, I will always wish that we had gone ahead and named them Juniper & Magnolia. We still call them Juniper & Magnolia as nicknames.
The names they ended up with, I did not think were particularly popular. We didn’t have Internet at the time and had I been able to research Junie’s real name – she would have ended up with something else because her name is actually sort of popular (in the top 40 of her birth year). Mag’s real name hasn’t been in the top 1000 since 1965 so I’m much more pleased with our choice her name. We intended to call them by nicknames (nn for the real name) but I usually call them by their full name since I began to hear their nicknames EVERYWHERE whenever I went out. I don’t want them to be one of many with the same name in their class. I was one of those kids and I hated it.

I wanted to do family surnames as middle names. In hindsight, I should have made more of a case for it. I really like the ‘trend’ of doing that. We did use family names in the sense that Junie shares my middle name, Mags has my first sister’s name as her middle name, and Snowdrop has my second sister’s name as her middle name. If we have a boy, his middle name will be Hubby’s first name as in keeping with his side of the family’s tradition. My family didn’t have traditions. I’m trying to start them. (So hopefully Junie’s first daughter will share her – and my – middle name, etc.)
 
I do not like matchy names. For example, I would never name my boy-girl twins Larry & Mary, nor would I name my girl-girl twins Millie & Lillie. But I DID worry about their names coordinating. I’m big on the coordination when it comes to their clothes, too. I didn’t want them sounding like they didn’t belong to the same family. Both girls, I will say, have old lady names and I love them. They don’t rhyme but they sound lovely together and have a nice flow. This is something that was also important to me when we were expecting our third child. I didn’t want to anyone to stick out like a sore thumb or grow up thinking that they were different from the rest of the family. (Maybe this is a remnant of being from an adopted family, I don’t know.) Their names don’t go quite as well with Snowdrop’s real name as in Snowdrop’s real name the vowels are stronger/louder in pronunication than Junie & Mags. Nonetheless, I suppose the names flow well together. Snowdrop’s real name is NOT the perfect name I had chosen for her but I felt bad denying Hubby’s requests for the name and I was really tired when we were in the hospital so I succumbed to the pressure. It is agreed upon though that should we have another girl, we will name her the name I wanted to name Snowdrop.
That brings me to this. We had the big girls’ names picked out well before they arrived. I even knew who was who inside of me. Snowdrop however didn’t have a name until hours after she was born, poor thing.
Popularity of a name was of utmost importance with Snowdrop – and would have had more of an impression on me with the first two, had we had Internet back then. I didn’t want a name that has been in the top 1000 for at least 20 years, preferably longer than that – never in the top 1000 would be perfect. 🙂 After the big girls were born, I would be grocery shopping or mall shopping and hear mothers calling after their children who shared the same name as Junie or the nickname we first called Mags. Now I’ve settled to having a popularly named first daughter, and as far as Mags goes – we call her by her full name now and I’m pretty positive (knock on wood) it will be a long time before we hear of another girl by her name. Snowdrop’s name itself has never been in the top 1000, ever. However, the name her name originates from was last in the top 1000 in, like, 1979. And it was near the end, too.
 
I also wanted to note that we thought heavily about naming the big girls after music. Like… Scarlet Begonia (the Dead), Lilly (Widespread Panic), Cecilia (Simon & Garfunkel), Lucy (the Beatles), Melissa (Allman Brothers), Jane (Dave Matthews Band), and I wanted Lady (after Led Zeppelin – and partially after the movie Almost Famous)… oh gosh, there were lots more than this. But we weren’t cool enough to do it. So there.

This post would make a lot more sense if I could just share my childrens’ names… but since I blog on the rule of psuedonyms, I can’t share such classified information. My most sincere apologies for any and all confusion. 🙂

She still has no name…

I realize this won’t really be a HUGE problem until the hospital kicks us out and we need to choose a name so we can leave… but she still has no name. And I’m being induced tomorrow morning.

ARGH.

Lost Intentions & Naughty Boys & Random Thoughts…

So I intended to write all about Thanksgiving. And about, oh, a hundred other things. And I haven’t yet. I honestly haven’t had the energy. So I’ll just stick to the randoms…

Thanksgiving was… fun! The girls ate all their turkey and pumpkin pie but could have cared less for green bean casserole and stuffing. I can’t believe they’re my kids and they don’t like GB Casserole and Stuffing. Who are they?

(Skip to the Bottom of the Post for the Random Thoughts if you don’t want to read about the Naughty Boys… cause it’s lengthy, and obviously a rant.) 🙂

Hubby’s cousins also came to dinner. And they brought their three boys with them. They are ages 3, 2, and 3 weeks. The 3-week-old was very well behaved (haha). I cannot say the same for the 3 and 2 year olds. The 2 year old is actually just a day younger than Juniper & Magnolia… anyways, so… So the boys were so… I don’t know the word. They were the worst behaved children I’ve ever seen. O. M. G. They wouldn’t sit in chairs at the dinner table and spent most of our “pleasant” Thanksgiving dinner, running around the kitchen, SCREAMING their heads off, refusing to eat food, and basically just causing minor troubles and annoyances. According to their parents (Hubby’s cousins) the boys “won’t sit in a highchair” which is why they were given chairs at the table on which to sit. Now. Here’s my problem with this. What do you mean “they won’t sit in a highchair”? They’re 3 and 2 years old. Put them in the highchair, strap them in, and VOILA! They’re sitting in a highchair. Have your children no respect for a rule? I mean, really? I know they’re young, but I don’t believe they’re too young at this point.  And sure there are times when Junie & Mags misbehave. There are times when they don’t want to eat their dinner. But those are also the times when we discipline, when we say “NO.”, when we tell them “Okay. You don’t have to eat dinner, but you do have to sit in your chair until everyone else is done.” My children don’t scream obnoxiously during dinner time. They eat their dinner.

At one point, the 3 year old climbed into my MIL’s chair while she was fixing herself seconds… so the kids parents say “Hey, get out of Aunt C’s chair” and the kid? He goes “NO.” And so the parents, instead of insisting he get out or receive a Time Out (or whatever else would have been appropriate in terms of disciplining a 3 year old), start LAUGHING. So your child talks back to you, and you laugh – good. That’ll teach him! I was taken aback. Of course, that response would never fly in our home – and you can bet our girls know better than to respond that way.

I had mentioned this next part in my post about Top 5 Memorable Moments with the Girls – Junie kept saying “Naughty Boy, Naughty Boy” at dinnertime. It was hysterical. My MIL and myself were laughing so hard under our breaths… it was too funny. See, even my 2 year old noticed what a naughty boy he was being.

So after dinner, we played downstairs and the boys were screaming, not sharing with each other, or with the girls very well… it was so nerve-wracking. So then it was time to clean up and go home. Now, our girls often need a little poking & prodding to start cleaning up but they can manage putting all the “little toys into the basket” and “helping pick up the animals”, etc… but Hubby’s Cousin’s kids? Nada. All they did was scream their blessed little heads off – and I mean tantrum screaming. It wasn’t just refusing to pick up. We’d take toys away from them – well, attempt – and they’d hold it tighter until we had to literally peel their fingers off of the toys – all of course, amidst a ridiculous tantrum. My girls were visibly shaken by all the screaming – and continued to pick up toys all the same.

I’m not trying to say “Oh, my kids are so well behaved, they’re so obedient, they’re better than thou…” but frankly – I’m just shocked that these boys were SO out of control. I mean, GEEZ – get control of your kids. That kind of behavior would never be tolerated in our house. EVER. That’s behavior that warrants a swift smack on the bottom and a minute in Time Out (although, now that my girls are 2 years old, we do 2 minutes… they’ll get 3 when they are 3, etc…).

(Disclaimer: We don’t hit our kids but there are appropriate times for a small spanking. I used to get a belt or a wooden spoon when I was a kid – so my girls are lucky we don’t think that’s appropriate. But I will say, get smacked on the bottom a few times with a belt or a spoon… and I never did whatever I had done to get that smack ever again. :))

ARGH!!!! Sorry for the rant but… it really bothers me about those boys. I just… it bothers me. I’m glad we insist on good behavior from our girls. I don’t expect them to chew with their mouths closed and have a napkin in their laps. I expect them to behave like domesticated beings and not like they’ve been raised by wolves. And that their actions will have consequences. At age two, this is limited to what a two year old will understand. Example: Pushed your sister down? You get a Time Out and if you’re not sorry when your two minutes are up – back to Time Out until you’re sorry. Mom & Dad say “Time to Clean Up or You only get ONE book before bed?” If you don’t help to clean up, you don’t get three to five books before bed – you get one.

I guess I sound like a hardass but I’m really just insistent on being consistent with teaching them how to be good girls. Sure, they’re going to be teenagers someday and slam the door in my face, and tell me they hate me – but at least I will know they had a good foundation.

Okay. Ranting done… now for the nice thoughts! 🙂

Happy, Random Thoughts…

I’m 36 weeks 2 days pregnant. I’ve never been THIS pregnant before – so this is quite new territory for me. I’m excited. And ready to meet my little Snowdrop. I had some intense false labor on Tuesday night – the night of the Full Moon. It got so bad, I had called my doctor! It didn’t intensify but for a while I was nervous that it would. Hubby threw up because he got so nervous! Haha.

The Full Moon also made us realize that we really need to pick a name for this baby – or Snowdrop will be official on the birth certificate! Our “short list” is now longer than our original short list. I think we have eight (?) names we’re contemplating. It’s such a hard decision… I’d like to at least have it narrowed down to three names before she is born – otherwise, I’m really going to have a hard time picking a name at the hospital.

Any thoughts on a 3-syllable, not very popular, preferably old-fashioned of sorts, girls name?

Yeah. I’m having trouble coming up with that one, too. 🙂

Hubby surprised me with a visit from two of my very best friends on Friday night! They drove all the way down from the Big City just to see ME for the night. And they brought the girls a few presents, which was really nice. I KNEW something was going on because Hubby kept insisting that he needed to clean the house even though he kept complaining about being so sore from Thanksgiving Football with his fraternity brothers… And he did all the guest bedsheets and towels… and kept cleaning and cleaning. He tried to tell me that nothing was going on, he just “wanted to clean” but I knew better. I’m glad my friends came down – it was nice to see them.

The day after Thanksgiving marked the two year anniversary since the last time I saw my friend, S, before she died. I know, this is not a nice happy random thought. It’s very sad. I miss her very much and I’ll always remember driving away from her, after lunch, looking in my rearview mirror, crying and trying to figure out why I had a nagging feeling I’d never see her again… I never did see her again. (She died in January, 2007. Her heart was broken. Some birth defect that was unknown because when we were babies – they didn’t have the kind of ultrasounds and tests they do now…) I should have stayed that day at the bakery and hung out. The girls were so young, they probably would have just slept in their pumpkin seats and not known the difference. If I could go back in time and stay, I would.

So it was nice to see my other bakery girls the day after Thanksgiving. It definitely brightened my day.

Hm… what else. This is turning into a long post.

I’ve been doing Sodoku every night in bed before settling in for the night. I have found it really relaxes me and helps me to fall asleep faster. I used to do Sodoku ALL the time – and got out of it for a bit. But I found an old book that wasn’t filled in recently so I started up again and am loving it.

I’m ready for this baby to come. Our roof still isn’t fixed but it will be soon. And I’m getting close to being done shopping for Christmas presents. I want to have them bought & wrapped before I go into labor. That’s a goal.

I also need to ribbon the Christmas Cards. I have no energy to do that tonight. In fact, I’m going upstairs now to do some Sodoku.

Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving. 🙂

Baby Name Specifications…

We’re not sharing any of our names with anyone until after the baby is born. Even you, dear readers. 🙂

I WILL share our specifications for the baby names. The first name has to be three or more syllables. The first name also needs to not be popular. I like it when the SSA.GOV Baby Name Website returns my search with “This name has never been in the Top 1000 Baby Names.” Mainly, a name can stay on our list if it hasn’t been in the Top 1000 since the mid-1900’s. OR if it’s made the list somewhere around 850-900/1000 on the list during more recent years, that’s okay too.

If it’s a boy, his middle name is: Christopher. If it’s a girl, her middle name is Kelly. (Yes, these are both family names, though they are not mine nor Hubby’s names. :))

We actually already have our boy name picked out and settled upon. I’m 99.9% sure that we’ll even end up with this name for our boy so that’s kind of neat. 🙂 We do currently refer to the baby as this name although we still don’t know whether or not it’s a girl or boy. Haha!

The girl name has been difficult to pin down. Of course, we still have lots of time to decide on what to name her.

Our baby name book (we have just one – with the Internet there’s such a vast realm to search for names I didn’t think we’d need more than one actually book) actually lists “Celery” as a girls name. Celery. Really? Would anyone out there really, I mean really, name their daughter “Celery”????

“Celery: (Food Name (um, duh??) refreshing”

Um…. ? Really? And if Celery is in there, why not Potato or Asparagus? “Gus, Tater, come here and get your dinner!!!” Bong-Cha is another one of my favorites. It’s a Korean name and it means “excellent daughter”…. or “excellent weed, maaaaan” to most people in our social circle, LOL. Bong-Cha? I’m not ripping on culture, language, etc…. but Bong-Cha in our house means something quite different than a reference to our daughters. Schmoopie is another strange name in our book. Schmoopie – people, I’m not making this up I swear!!!

“Schmoopie: (American (oh great, don’t Americans look like f*cktards now….)) baby; sweetie”

Er… Please. If you know anyone thinking of naming their daughter “Schmoopie” please smack them upside the head. They need the wake-up call.

We didn’t look extensively at the boy names in the book but of course, there were some that stuck out. Like, for example-> Uranus.

“Uranus: ( Greek) the heavens”

Oh, what a nice meaning. Too bad schoolchildren don’t carry around name definition books so they can avoid hurting someone’s feelings. You might as well name your kid Penis-head or Scrotum because being named Uranus is only going to ruin…. everything.

“Buffalo: (American) tough-minded”

Unless you’re part of native tribe… stay away from such names like Buffalo and Sundancer. Gosh, even if you’re a Hippie stay away from those names. Stick to Hippie-regulars like River, Willow, and Sky. I’m part (a wee bit, but still part) Blackfoot American Indian so I suppose….. um, no. I still won’t do it. We joked about naming our firstborn Skyhippie Tangerine. I still love it. Maybe when we get a dog…?

And lastly -> Rambo. You really have a problem if you’re naming your kid Rambo. Either a strange Sylvester Stallone obsession… or something else, I don’t know. It’s not even a ‘real’ name. “Real” meaning, from a culture or country.

“Rambo: (Movie) daring; action-oriented”

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Any ideas on three syllable, not-very-popular girls names? I’ve been to pretty much all the websites on the first 22 pages of a Google search for “baby names”… and I’ve got a good list of about 18 names that are possibles. I’d love to hear any suggestions from you. 🙂